So even though I've been neglecting this blog all year, I keep being surprised when I occasionally check it and find that one or two people(or maybe bots) seem to click on it almost everyday. It's sort of astounding and always makes me feel guilty about not posting more. And then today I checked it and discovered I actually have A FOLLOWER.
A person actually clicked "Follow". Wowee wow wow as they say! I'm breathing down "Bikesnobs" neck here.
Suddenly one of my excuses not to be putting some effort into this endeavor is no longer valid. That reason being "It's not like anyone's following the wretched thing", which is like, number 7 on my list of 10 reasons why it's OK when I'm too bone-idle to get off my bee-hind and go like, write something.
Some of the other reasons;
A) "The smoke from my lap-top (it's coal fired) makes my eyes burn"(still valid)
2) "I have other, more important things I need to be doing". Sure. (not valid)
3) "I can't think of anything to write"(ever-so not valid, I have A MILLION things I can write about. They're mostly sort of daft but I really don't think anyone cares as long as I don't take it too seriously and can make it funny),
11) "It's been a tough year".(sort of valid, it has been a tough year) My run for the Republican Presidential Nomination never really got any traction(somehow my proposal to build a Pump-Track along the U.S.-Mexico border and make Specialized pay for it didn't capture the prolet, er, electorates imagination like I thought it would). I took on WAY too many illustration jobs and spent a big part of the last few months banging up against deadlines and having to assure a couple of authors and editors that "I really am confident I can deliver this entire project on time. Yes, I understand the deadline is next month. NEXT MONTH?! ARE YOU KIDDING?!". I managed to make all those deadlines but it was really a grind all through Summer and Fall. Add to that a busier than ever year at my real job, some difficult things to work out at home and all the other stuff that presents itself as urgent and clogs up our lives and I could have just blown off the whole thing as too much trouble.
But really, all those reasons are just dumb when I think about how much I enjoyed writing some of those posts and how many other ideas, stories, and projects I have to write about that will be just as fun and satisfying to sort into some kind of shape and share with MY FOLLOWER and all the Bots.
So let's see if I can do better starting now. Here's a few of the things I've already been working on(more or less) that you can look forward to(my loyal FOLLOWER);
"The Worlds Most Annoying Bicycle", I take this old Schwinn Beach Cruiser I have and bolt on every noise making device I can get my hands on and see if I can generate enough racket to make it rain. I already have a sackful of bells(manual and wheel-driven), a Si-reen, several variations on the playing card in the spokes trick including a cheap plastic mechanically AMPLIFIED variant called "Bike Pipe" that is almost unbearable just by itself, and some other things we used to do when I was a kid with water-balloons and aluminum cans that make more noise than any Mother could stand. I suspect it's going to be just about impossible to pedal on level ground but I have a really steep driveway so we'll see if I can coast it down once with everything engaged (or as the Vintage Airplane Guys call that configuration; "ALL LEVERS TO LOUD!"). I might just push it into the ditch at the bottom since that bike weighed 5 stone BEFORE I started attaching stuff to it (and it's got a bent fork) so I'm not assuming it's going to seem worth the trouble to push it back up to the house.
An article about building and riding my Retro-Directe bicycle that I wrote hoping to get it published in "Bicycle Quarterly". They turned it down(not without reason, I do sort of mention "Bigfoot" a couple times which might have made it seem a little less Scholarly than their normal fare) but I think six or seven of you out there might find it interesting, especially if I can get some video of it going forwards while being pedaled backwards. Plus part of it was made with bits from a wrecked helicopter. I really am proud of that thing.
Some pictures of and "essays" about some of my personal bikes. I know, I know, every bike blogger eventually gets around to this in the charming but naive belief that our bikes are somehow "special" and that people care deeply about how we arranged the reflective tape on the fender we made from part of a Venetian blind we stole from work. Well tough. My Bikes ARE special and when I'm done you people are going to be clamoring, CLAMORING !, for bikes just like them.
So come back here in 2 weeks and I promise, PINKY PROMISE, to have something new.